Some people may want to talk but may be worried about how you might react so it is important to stay calm if they begin telling you that they have been abused.  Some people may ask you to promise not to tell anyone else about the abuse. Whether you are a practitioner, friend or relative, you should always be honest and never make false promises - sometimes the abuse might affect more than one person and you will have a responsibility to other people too.

You must remember that an older person is an adult, and should never be treated like a child, even if they appear confused and disoriented (he or she can still react to what you are saying and how you say it). Try not to take over or be over-protective, and remember that you should not lead someone into saying something.  Try to balance the need of the older person to be heard with the need to ensure you do not prejudice future action, such as a police or disciplinary investigation.

If it is appropriate, try to explain simply who might be able to help e.g. health or social care professionals (such as a GP), police, home carers, care-home employees, volunteers and advocates, or organisations in the Helpful Contacts section. Perhaps offer to approach one of these on the person’s behalf.  Ask what they want you to do. 

If you were correct in your concerns or still have strong suspicions, you can talk to the AEA helpline and seek advice.  If you work in health or social care you should speak to your line manager immediately - and remember that you have a professional relationship with the older person.  This means that matters of this nature are disclosed to you as a representative of your organisation.   If you suspect your line manager is the abuser then speak to someone in Human Resources or to another more senior manager.  Do not keep it to yourself.